Ignore the Small Stuff

0123-a%20man%20watching%20an%20hourglass_pYou have only so much energy. Spend it wisely.

Some things just aren’t worth your time and energy. Perhaps a co-worker refuses to greet you in the morning. Perhaps a customer uses a sharp tone of voice. Your partner may forget to do an errand, sending you over the edge. Is it worth stewing about it, replaying the incident, slight or misbehavior endlessly? Possibly, but more often than not, we expend much more effort on minor grievances that can take on a life of their own, relinquishing our power to someone or something else

Think about how much time you’ve wasted on what really amounts to minor irritants when you could have used it to redirect your thinking and avoid getting trapped. Are you willing to carry along the annoying experience in the AM, through your day, only to share it in the PM with family or friends? How much “rent” can you charge to that earlier incident for taking up premium space in your head?

One effective strategy for managing frustrating situations can be as simple as counting to ten before engaging or responding. Try it when you’re sitting in traffic and before leaning on your horn. Another technique is to change the geography by physically moving to another space or area before reacting. Sometimes just the act of moving can make a huge difference.

Get smart. Don’t spend $10 worth of energy on a 10-cent problem. Learn to identify the higher value issues and act accordingly.

“Do not let trifles disturb your tranquility of mind…life is too precious to be sacrificed for the nonessential and transient…ignore the inconsequential.” ~Grenville Kleiser~

©MWeisner2017

The “Mother” of Invention

inventhedyWhat do the following have in common?
• Bulletproof vests
• Fire escapes
• Windshield wipers
• Laser printers

The answer is that they were all invented by women, smart, imaginative women, not cautious observers on the sidelines. Of course there are many more inventions that were created by women, but these are not in the so called, “pink industries” or women’s product ghettos. Why are fashion or cosmetics or family focused inventions marginalized by using dismissive language to describe their category placement? These are multi-billion dollar industries and growing every day.

How many more good or even great ideas have been passed on before they’ve ever had a chance to see the light of day? Afraid to fail? Get it right the first time! Women are diagnosed with depression and anxiety twice as often as men. According to Harvard psychologist, Shelley Carson, “ If someone criticizes her work, a woman is more likely to walk away, tail between her legs, and sulk, while a man tends to be aggressive and fight back: ‘You don’t like that one? Here try this idea!’ Perhaps testosterone does play a part in this responsive behavior. She states further, “Women have been socialized to please, and when we don’t, we feel bad about ourselves.”

According to other sources, women take missteps more personally than men do. We tend to be “intropunitive,” blaming ourselves for failure, whereas men are more likely to attribute failure to circumstances and the actions of others. Women tend to ruminate more, replaying and magnifying the setback and thereby increasing the temptation to quit.

So, how do we get beyond abandoning an idea or innovation? How can we turn on the creativity machine and turn off the inner voice? How big a part does fear of criticism or failure have to do with your success? We regret the things we did not do, far more than the things we did. Begin with your own process:

• Notice what you are observing and maintain an idea book.
• Brainstorm/discuss your idea/approach with a trusted group for feedback
• Pivot and change your strategy as needed
• Consider setbacks as learning lessons
• Don’t be afraid…Be inspired!

©MWeisner2016

“Winning” IS Fundamental

screenYes, it’s fall and football season once again. Whether it is a favorite sport of yours or not, the words of legendary Alabama football coach Paul Bryant will resonate, and not just around the aspects of the game. Strategies in sports readily apply to teams in the workplace. Coach Bryant retired with 323 wins over 38 seasons, an amazing record of achievement to be sure.

“Bear” Bryant said that members of a winning team needed 5 things:
1. Tell me what you expect from me
2. Give me an opportunity to perform
3. Let me know how I’m doing
4. Give me guidance when I need it
5. Reward me according to my contributions

Winners need straight information. Sometimes a formula that seems too simple is ignored. However, when we communicate objectives clearly and simplify the points, everyone is more likely to be on the same page. From small to larger teams, setting consistent expectations and goals is foundational to successful outcomes.
• How clear are you when communicating directives?
• Are your expectations realistic with opportunity to reach beyond?
• Do you offer specific, targeted feedback to your team?
• As a team member, how do you ask for feedback?

©MWeisner2014

Attack the Hardest or Easiest Tasks First?

458You glance at your to-list and it’s overwhelming. Your initial thought might well be to run through the easiest, yet time consuming actions first. These may feel like many small annoyances; t he call you need to return or the quick review of a client project. Yes, we all know how good it feels to check off multiple tasks, send those e-mails out and lo and behold, your morning is gone. Instant gratification is seductive and the busyness feels like you are engaged in a series of worthy accomplishments. After all, these things need to be addressed and you are fresh in the A.M. However, according to Piers Steel, PhD, Professor at the University of Calgary and an expert on motivation and procrastination, this approach wastes your prime performance hours. “People have more attention and focus in the morning, so tackle the hard stuff first, while you have the most energy to do it.” As the day continues our energy is depleted, there are other demands on our time and so the list gets carried along with new additions.

Let’s try another slant on your typical plan of action. Getting started is key and tweaking your approach helps. Begin with a challenging chore that can be handled quickly. Like suiting up for a run or diving into cold water, the first few moments may feel awful but your body quickly adjusts and you are on your way, invigorated as you move. The same can be said for your to-do list actions as momentum takes over it helps you make more progress. How satisfying is it to cross things off your list, both major and minor and relax, if only for a moment of reflection.

• What’s you favorite approach?
• How successful has that been?
• What are you willing to change?
• Renumber your list for tomorrow, adding a challenging chore first

©MWeisner2015

 

 

Kickstart the New Year!

Screen-Shot-2012-12-27-at-8_18_14-PMI always look forward to the various approaches to the process of behavioral change that take center stage at the end of each calendar year. Approximately 45 percent of Americans make self-improvement goals in January, yet by February much of that enthusiasm has slowed to a mere trickle. And despite our best efforts, only some 8 percent of us end up achieving those goals. Of course there are many reasons and faulty explanations abound, yet we are in good company with respect to the challenges surrounding change. Read on for Andy Horner’s other approach to kicking off the New Year with a fast track approach.

Instead of a resolution, each year I commit to a New Year’s Kickstart!

Here’s the idea: You start your year off with a big success by completing a relatively quick turnaround project that you’ve been putting off. It could be a website, blog, newsletter, new mini-business, or a presentation or webinar you’ve been wanting to complete.

It’s Your Spark Plug: Whatever your project, your New Year’s Kickstart should be the spark that ignites your bigger picture strategy for the year.

Difficulty: Hard: For your project, it’s best to choose something that will push you. Get out of your comfort zone, but avoid a challenge that’s too grandiose. I don’t want your Kickstart to end in a New Year’s Frustration.

Done in 2 Weeks: It should be something you can knock out quickly. One of the reasons New Year’s Resolutions fail is that the commitment, like losing weight, takes too long to yield results. (If you haven’t noticed, we’re an instant-gratification world now.)

I like the 2 week mark. It’s enough time to get most projects finished. It’s short enough to maintain focus. And it means you begin your year with an achievement to fuel you.

• Write it down
• Color code 2-weeks in your Kickstart calendar
• Celebrate your success!

The “Mother” of Invention

inventhedyWhat do the following have in common?
• Bulletproof vests
• Fire escapes
• Windshield wipers
• Laser printers

The answer is that they were all invented by women, smart, imaginative women, not cautious observers on the sidelines. Of course there are many more inventions that were created by women, but these are not in the so called, “pink industries” or women’s product ghettos. Why are fashion or cosmetics or family focused inventions marginalized by using dismissive language to describe their category placement? These are multi-billion dollar industries and growing every day.

How many more good or even great ideas have been passed on before they’ve ever had a chance to see the light of day? Afraid to fail? Get it right the first time! Women are diagnosed with depression and anxiety twice as often as men. According to Harvard psychologist, Shelley Carson, “ If someone criticizes her work, a woman is more likely to walk away, tail between her legs, and sulk, while a man tends to be aggressive and fight back: ‘You don’t like that one? Here try this idea!’ Perhaps testosterone does play a part in this responsive behavior. She states further, “Women have been socialized to please, and when we don’t, we feel bad about ourselves.”

According to other sources, women take missteps more personally than men do. We tend to be “intropunitive,” blaming ourselves for failure, whereas men are more likely to attribute failure to circumstances and the actions of others. Women tend to ruminate more, replaying and magnifying the setback and thereby increasing the temptation to quit.

So, how do we get beyond abandoning an idea or innovation? How can we turn on the creativity machine and turn off the inner voice? How big a part does fear of criticism or failure have to do with your success? We regret the things we did not do, far more than the things we did. Begin with your own process:
• Notice what you are observing and maintain an idea book.
• Brainstorm/discuss your idea/approach with a trusted group for feedback
• Pivot and change your strategy as needed
• Consider setbacks as learning lessons
• Don’t be afraid…Be inspired!

©2013 Maureen Weisner

REDO Your To-Do List

Long-To-Do-List-shutterstock_106155491-e1350582020988You probably use some version of a to-do list. They seem look a good idea, but they simply catalogue tasks yet don’t help you accomplish them.

If all you do is make lists of the projects you need to finish, odds are good they will remain unfinished far longer than you like. Decades of research on goal pursuit shows that when it comes to execution, there are 2 major pitfalls that keep us from doing the things we intend to do.

1. We aren’t specific enough about exactly what needs to happen. There are actions we must take to reach our goals. If your goal is be healthier, you must break that down into component actions, like walking every day for 30-minutes at 7AM, packing a gym bag the night before M/W/F, eating breakfast, etc. So, to-do lists CAN work, if they contain specific actions.

2. The problem that lists don’t solve is finding the opportunity to take action.
• Did you really have NO time to work on that project today?
• No chance at any time to return that phone call?
You probably had the time but were preoccupied with something else or simply forgot.

Achieving any goal means grabbing hold of those opportunities before they slip through your fingers. One solution is IF-THEN planning. Not only decide WHAT you need to do but WHEN and WHERE you will do it in advance. So, if ____ occurs, then I will ____.
For example: When it’s 3PM today, then I’ll stop whatever I’m doing and work on that project. If it’s M/W or F, then I’ll go to the gym before work.

This kind of planning trains your brain to be ready for a certain action at a certain time. On an unconscious level, you are scanning your environment, waiting for the situation, 3PM to occur, so you are much more likely to notice 3PM when it happens and seize the opportunity to take the action you included in your plan.

With each action on your to-do list, add a when and a where. You can transfer your to-do list to your calendar/phone/device- just be sure to pair WHAT you need to do with the details about when and where you’ll do it.

MINI-Plan The Power of Habit

1. Create a routine- teach your brain a routine

2. Set small goals- habit formation is built on small wins

3. Choose a reward- you’re training yourself to associate a behavior with something you enjoy

4. Write it down- Identifying your routine significantly increases the chance that a habit will take hold

ACTIONS:
What’s one goal to focus on today and break it down into components?
Share with your group > accountability