If the Shoe Doesn’t Fit…

imagesCAUSJL0WIs what we think we want more compelling than identifying what we need? Cinderella’s stepsisters might be a quarrelsome lot on that point, for try as they might, that darned glass slipper just would not fit on their feet. One of my first summer jobs was in the shoe department of a women’s clothing store, so on a daily basis I witnessed some very surprising behaviors. Many customers were determined to make a purchase based not on comfort, color or style, but on size. Naively, my own experience with footwear was never based on the latter consideration. Imagine feeling visibly hobbled by one’s own decision to pay for something that important, that crucial to your well-being and overall health that you would override sound judgment in favor of pain. I am not a Luddite and admittedly there are times when some sacrifice to comfort in favor of fashion is warranted, but on a daily basis your feet are neither too big nor too small. They are just right for YOU and if that shoe doesn’t fit, take a deep breath and place it gently back in the box where it belongs, waiting for Cinderella to claim it.

It is one thing to vainly attempt to wedge oneself into footwear or apparel that is not the proper size and quite another to base decisions on emotional factors that are a vanity of another sort. For example, investing in technology is an area that changes so rapidly it is hard to keep up and at the same time there is cache in having the newest “tools” at our fingertips. Does it announce to the world that we are smart, trendsetting players, not to be confused with the generation that is wedded to antiquated methods of doing business? Or does it mean that we have a drawer full of discarded items that were never understood or integrated into our working day? Identify what prompts your purchase and whether it is based solely on function, appearance or ego.

Step back, assess and ascertain if your next purchase will be an enhancement or a costly choice and above all, please refrain from limping around your office when your cell phone rings. Vanity can be SO limiting.


The 10 Steps to Building a Strong Personal Foundation

AAEAAQAAAAAAAAO5AAAAJDg4YzI0NjJlLTNjNDItNDBjMy1iNjgyLWVhMTdmZmJlZmRiMQI consider Thomas Leonard to be one of my most influential coaching mentors. He was a major contributor to the development of personal coaching and founded many of the original training organizations. His body of work continues to support personal growth and below is an example of his emphasis on getting the basics in place. Build a solid foundation from the outset and consistently check-in on your progress. It’s a marvelous template for determining when things are out of alignment, addressing areas that need a tune-up and assessing YOUR needs.

1. Honor your boundaries
Boundaries protect you from people that your spirit cannot easily afford.

2. Raise your standards                                                                                                     The higher your standards, the fewer problems you will experience in life.

3. Clarify your requirements
Everyone in your life deserves to know what you expect/require of them.

4. Finish your unfinished business
The fewer unresolved items in your life, the more confident you will feel.

5. Get your personal needs met
Until your personal needs are met, it’s difficult to live powerfully and sustainably.

6. Orient around your values
When you orient your life and your goals around your values, fulfillment naturally occurs.

7. Build reserves in all areas
Having more than enough calms the mind and affords more experimentation in life.

8. Identify and reduce tolerations
What you put up with drains your energy and slows your development

9. Handle the money, completely
Until your money is handled, you are not at choice in life.

10. Define success for yourself
When you define success for yourself, life becomes very, very simple.